Muneer A. Rasheed on
"How Not To Listen"

”The Art of How Not To Listen”

It often seem that people practice The Art of Not Listening.

They are the people who always have same experience as you or have something to add on when you want to share information.

Example:

You: I just came back from Egypt. It….(not finishing your sentence) They: I went there and I saw, did, experienced. Yada yada yada they go on!

No matter what you want to relate about an event, food vacation or recent news they see it as a signal for them talk while you listen.

When these types of talkers feign paying attention; you distinctly get the feeling that they are like Secretariat chomping at the bit waiting for the gate to open to start the race.

Yet, in the talkers case they are anxiously waiting for you to take a gasp of air or bat an eye so they can jump in and fill the void.

So when these types of individuals remark on how they are good listeners; what they are really good at is injecting their opinion.

To be a Good Listener you must set aside preconceived ideas or cookie cutter solutions.

You should also be able to engage the person who is talking eyes with yours to visually show that you are connected.

This also means to not be visually distracted by people passing by or other events around you.

Think about how distracting it is for you when you are speaking to someone who is constantly scanning the room or checking the time.

However, other than being a Spy as one’s career choice; there is no reason to be distracted by every pin drop!

Being available to hear someone is forgoing that impulse dive right in to offer solutions before you are requested to do so.

However, it is okay to ask questions to let the speaker know you are actively engaged in what they are saying.

These questions can take the form of: Who, What, When, Where and How

Another technique to show that you are involved with the communication process is to offer the occasional Um, Is that so or some variation thereof.

You can also add to the mix the Echo Technique!

This technique is when you repeat back that part of the sentence you’ve just heard.

Example

Speaker: I really had a hectic day.

You: Hectic day?

Speaker:Yea; I got blindsided when I met with the client.

You: The client?

I think you see how this is done.

Good Listeners focus on the speaker!

You want to hear them talk about their vacation instead of you telling them about yours!

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